I learned early in my career that listening was key to building trusted relationships and getting to the best decisions.
I was fortunate to begin my career in an organization that invested heavily in empowering managers and teaching leadership skills at every level of the organization. They understood the power of investing in their "frontline" customer-facing leaders. But of course the process wasn't as simple as deciding that “our frontline managers are our best change agents.” There was a lot of history fraught with lack of direct communication, miscommunication and not enough trust and transparency.
As a new, young manager, I had to let go of what I thought I knew (and I thought I knew a lot LOL). Some of my most impactful decisions and recommendations came when I went “off script” from the projects I was implementing and helped create processes that truly addressed issues that impacted people serving customers everyday. That would not have happened if I wasn’t listening to understand. That experience taught me so much about the power of empathy and active listening.
One of the most important ways to show up in service is to suspend what we think we know and to listen.
Empathy begins with listening – truly being present in the moment with someone and listening with your whole self.
With empathy comes connection. And when there is connection there is more room for real discussion, hearing opposing view points and coming to agreement and/or acceptance.
We’re not going to agree with everything everybody says.
But even when you don’t come to full agreement, there should be understanding and respect and knowing that each side was heard. This is vital for your team and your company culture. Be intentional, follow the steps, and when you reply be honest and respectful in your responses. Remember to talk — and listen — in the ways that you would want to be talked or listened to.
This skill for active listening becomes especially important in times of stress and extreme changes. In theory it sounds simple - and of course we all agree that we need to listen to others. But in real life, this takes practice and intention.
I invite you to take a moment to check in and make sure you are coming from service. Listen to and empower your team. Reach out and listen to your clients. We are in times where changes in circumstances can happen quickly (whether it be driven by technology, the economy, turnover in your team, etc)
Decision making is hard and 100% certainty in the "right decision" is really not available. We will all be stronger, listening to each other, collaborating and creating solutions together.
Still, as a leader, you will need to make that final call. You are the leader and that is what leaders do.
And.. how you get to that decision does matter. Be intentional and listen with your full attention.
Listen to Understand
Research shows that most conversations we have are one way —> meaning that we are listening to gain information for ourselves so we can then reply.
What that means is that instead of really paying attention to what the other person is saying, you are already thinking about what you want to say in response.
When people don’t feel heard or understood, they tend to get louder to try to communicate how they feel or what they need.
Is it time to invest in your team’s development?
Are you ready to take your teams listening and communication skills to the next level?
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